Unfortunately, when assisting in child contact arrangements on a relationship breakdown, it is not uncommon to hear statements such as My partner is telling lies about me to manipulate the children or The children do not want to see me because of what my partner has said to them.
The undermining of a parent and child relationship is often encapsulated in the terms' parental alienation' or 'alienating behaviours'.
Over recent years, the label' parental alienation' in Family court has been regarded as unhelpful and somewhat discouraged. In a recent 2023 case, Re C ('Parental Alienation'; Instruction of Expert), the court opined that the court should focus on identifying 'alienating behaviour' rather than determining whether the label' parental alienation' can be applied.
Our Family Lawyers discuss alienating behaviours in child custody cases, explore their effects on children, and advise on legal steps, including court interventions, to address such behaviours and restore parent-child relationships.
What are alienating behaviours?
Whilst there is no single definition for alienating behaviours, it is recognised by the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (Cafcass) and can be used to describe behaviour whereby one parent or carer expresses an ongoing pattern of negative attitudes and communication about the other parent or carer that have the potential or intention to undermine, or even destroy, the child's relationship with their other parent or carer.
The High Court has firmly acknowledged that some parents psychologically manipulate their children to undermine their relationship with the other parent, sometimes without malice or deliberate intent, and the courts are aware of the harm that this can cause.
A child's feelings can be influenced by the parent they live with, who subconsciously or consciously alienates the child from the non-resident parent.
Alienation also occurs if a child has been deliberately coerced or pressured to align themselves to one parent by the other parent.
Impact on children
The impact of alienation can be detrimental and have long-lasting effects on children.
Psychologically, the child may feel extreme pressure to reject a parent and feel conflicted about having divided loyalties. This can subsequently lead to feelings of guilt when they betray the parent and treat them with hostility.
When strong anger is encouraged at home, this behaviour can prevail in the child's schooling life and significantly hamper their learning.
The child may develop anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. Those affected may feel deep sadness if they are forced to cut off ties with a parent and when they internalise bad-mouthing and belittling as a criticism against themselves.
Research has shown that children who are at risk of alienation are at risk of a range of behavioural and emotional problems, which will have clear implications for all their future relationships.
Signs of alienating behaviours
Either parent can demonstrate alienating behaviours. Indicators of alienation can include:
- One parent belittling or criticising the other parent
- Stopping a child from talking about the other parent
- Limiting or restricting contact without a valid reason
- Creating the impression the other parent does not love the child
It is important to note that alienation goes beyond expressing negative language and behaviour and can include withholding positive information, which ultimately influences a child's perception.
Cafcass recognises further alienating behaviours, such as spurning, terrorising, isolating, corrupting, or exploiting, and not responding appropriately to the child's emotional needs. These tactics can foster a false belief that the parent subject to the alienating behaviour is dangerous or unworthy.
Exposure to alienating behaviours harms children, and applying to the Family Court for a Child Arrangements Order may be necessary.
This way, the concerns can be formally investigated, and the court can consider how the child and parent can safely restore any relationship.
Dealing with parental alienation?
If an application is made to the court, Cafcass can recommend what referrals, interventions, or support are needed to end or reduce the impact on the child concerned.
Under the Children Act 1989, the child's welfare is the court's paramount consideration.
Where alienating behaviours are exhibited, the court will determine if the child is being subjected to emotional and psychological harm, which will be considered before any order is made.
The court may also refrain from ascertaining the child's wishes and feelings if it is evident that the child's views do not accurately reflect their real feelings due to the alienation they have suffered.
If the parent with whom a child lives cannot meet the child's needs and allow them to have a relationship with the other parent, the court can change the child's living arrangements if it is considered in the child's best interest.
Cases involving alienating behaviours are complex.
Suppose you are concerned about parental alienation or that alienating behaviours are being exhibited.
In that case, you should seek legal advice and immediately inform your solicitor of your concerns.
Contact Our Experts
You can contact our lawyers below if you have any more questions or want more information:
0161 941 4000
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Sarah Whitelegge
Legal Director
Sarah has over 17 years of experience acting as a Family Solicitor and as a Legal Director in our team. Sarah has specialist expertise in complex children matters and has experience of dealing with applications for child arrangement orders, prohibited steps orders, and special guardianship orders.
About Sarah Whitelegge