Informal family arrangements and verbal promises are a common cause of probate disputes, particularly in farming families and family‑run businesses.
While these “handshake deals” may feel fair and binding at the time they are made, they can lead to costly and emotionally charged inheritance disputes after death.
Our Contentious Probate lawyers explore the legal complexities and personal risks associated with verbal promises.
But they promised me…
Imagine the following, all too common, scenario:
You have been working on your parents’ family farm for most of your adult life.
Over many years, a parent repeatedly told you that the farm and land would one day “all be yours”.
For many farming families, this would feel entirely normal.
Trust is central to farming family life, and informal promises are often made with genuine intentions.
It can feel unnecessary, or even uncomfortable, to formalise these arrangements into writing.
However, what happens when that promise is never written down, and the person who made it has since died?
When expectations and legal reality do not align, disputes among family members can arise quickly, often leading to probate litigation.
Why informal family agreements are so common
Farming families and family businesses frequently avoid legal formalities out of trust and a desire to “keep things simple”. There is often a reluctance to incur legal costs or to formalise arrangements that have developed organically over many years.
There is also a deeper issue at play. Discussions about inheritance, money and death can feel awkward or unnecessary when parents and children assume everyone is “on the same page”.
As a result, significant promises are often made verbally, sometimes repeatedly, without any supporting documentation.
These arrangements often feel secure at the time.
Problems usually arise later, when the person who made the promise has passed away, their estate is administered, and family members have competing expectations.
The legal reality: why handshake deals are risky
From a legal perspective, informal agreements can be problematic.
When someone dies, their estate is distributed according to their Will or, if there is no Will, the intestacy rules.
Verbal promises, however sincere, do not automatically override a valid Will or the intestacy rules.
This can create difficult and highly emotional situations, particularly where:
- One family member believes they were promised specific property or land, and
- The Will leaves that asset to someone else.
Without formal documentation, these disputes often become one person’s word against another’s.
Can an oral promise ever be enforced after death?
In certain circumstances, the court may take informal promises into account through equitable doctrines, most commonly proprietary estoppel.
While the full legal test is complex, courts generally consider:
- Whether a clear promise or assurance was made by party A that party B would have an interest in, for example, land;
- Whether party B relied on that promise;
- Whether party B suffered a significant detriment as a result; and
- Whether it would be unfair (or “unconscionable”) to go back on the promise.
The leading case of Thorner v Major [2009] confirmed that assurances do not need to be expressly stated or set out in legal language, but they must be sufficiently clear when viewed in context.
However, not every informal promise will give rise to a successful claim.
How courts assess credibility after death
When the person who made the alleged promise has died, courts approach these cases with particular caution.
Judges are mindful that memories can change over time and that family disputes can influence how past events are recalled.
The court will look at the overall evidence, including:
- The clarity and consistency of the alleged promise.
- The conduct of the deceased during their lifetime.
- Independent corroboration, such as emails, letters, financial records or witnesses.
- Whether the claimant changed their position significantly in reliance on the promise.
In Gillett v Holt [2001], the claimant showed significant detrimental reliance and the court emphasised that all of the above factors are intertwined and must exist together.
Likewise, in Davies v Davies [2016], a widely reported farming dispute, the Court of Appeal reduced a daughter’s award of £1.3 million to £500,000 after examining years of family interactions, promises and breakdowns in relationships when assessing the claim.
These cases demonstrate that courts consider the full background of the matter, not just one conversation.
Common triggers for probate disputes involving informal promises
Probate disputes involving informal agreements often arise where:
- One child inherits the estate under the Will despite promises made to another.
- A Will is changed later in life, sometimes without explanation.
- Blended families and second marriages complicate expectations.
In some cases, claimants may also consider alternative routes, such as a claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975, particularly where they were financially dependent on the deceased.
Practical steps to avoid probate disputes
Many inheritance disputes can be avoided with early planning and clarity.
If you are making promises about your estate, the most important steps are to record any agreements in writing, review and update your Will regularly and also explain your intentions clearly to those affected to avoid any ambiguity.
Formalising arrangements can protect not only your legal position, but also family relationships.
If you are relying on a family promise, it is in your best interest to:
- Keep evidence of important discussions or arrangements.
- Avoid making major life decisions based solely on informal assurances.
- Seek legal advice before committing to long‑term obligations.
What if a handshake deal has already gone wrong?
If an informal promise has not been honoured after death, it is important to seek advice promptly.
The absence of written evidence does not automatically mean a claim will fail, but the evidence will need careful and realistic assessment.
Contact Our Contentious Probate Lawyers
Family trust is invaluable, but when it comes to inheritance and estate planning, clarity is essential. Informal promises, no matter how well‑meant, can leave families facing complex and distressing probate disputes.
Taking early professional advice can help ensure intentions are properly reflected and reduce the risk of disputes after death.
Contact our Contentious Probate team:
0161 941 4000
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Louis Pointon
Solicitor Apprentice
Louis joined Myerson Solicitors in 2023 as a Solicitor Apprentice after completing his studies at Sir John Deane’s Sixth Form College in Northwich.
Currently, Louis is undertaking a seat in the Probate Litigation Department.
During the 6-year apprenticeship course, Louis will progress through all of our legal and non-legal departments, whilst studying part time with BPP Law School before qualifying as a solicitor in 2029.
About Louis Pointon