Exploring Routes To Parenthood For The LGBTQ+ Community

Surrogacy is a common route to parenthood, particularly for gay male couples and single men.

Surrogacy is a process where a woman carries a pregnancy for another individual or couple. This is an option for those who biologically cannot or choose not to get pregnant.

There are two main types of surrogacy:

• Traditional surrogacy – where the surrogate uses her egg
• Gestational surrogacy – where the surrogate carries an embryo created using donor eggs and sperm

Surrogacy does come with some complexities that are worth considering.

Whilst legal in the UK, it is illegal to advertise for surrogates, and surrogates cannot be paid a fee for agreeing to be your surrogate, only their reasonable expenses.

Additionally, there are legalities to bear in mind. The surrogate (and if applicable, her spouse or civil partner) will be the child’s legal parent at birth.

The standard way for the intended parents to become the legal parents is through an application for a parental order after the child's birth.

This can create obvious difficulties if the surrogate changes their mind during the pregnancy or when the child is born.

A surrogacy agreement can be created between the parties, although this is not binding or enforceable by the court.

It does, however, help the parties to understand their arrangement and what is involved, and may bring some peace of mind whilst you await the transfer of legal parenthood.

There are also timeframes to consider for a parental orde,r and it is therefore important to seek advice at the earliest opportunity

As of 31 March 2024, there were 83,630 looked-after children in the UK.

A looked after child is one that is provided with accommodation for a continuous period of more than 24 hours, is subject to a care order or is subject to a placement order.

There is no shortage of children to be fostered or adopted, and this may be the most suitable route into family life for your relationship.

The adoption process involves assessments, training and checks and may take several months. Once an adoption order is granted, you become the child’s full legal parents with all the rights and responsibilities that entail.

Fostering can be a temporary or long-term option, providing a stable home for children in need.

Fostering is open to people from any background, regardless of sexuality, gender identity or marital status. The main criteria for fostering is that you have a spare bedroom in your home and are 21 or over. Some foster arrangements can lead to adoption or special guardianship orders depending on the child’s needs and circumstances.

This is an arrangement where two or more people agree to raise a child together without being in a romantic relationship.

If conception occurs naturally, the biological parents will be considered the legal parents.

 If the birth mother is not married or in a civil partnership and insemination takes place outside of a licensed clinic, the biological father will also be the legal father

If the insemination takes place in a clinic, it will depend on what forms are signed as to whether the biological father also acquires legal parenthood. 

Co-parenting requires clear agreements and legal planning, and it is important to consider how decisions relating to the child will be made, where the child will live, and the time they will spend.  

A co-parenting agreement should be considered, as while not legally binding, it can help to provide greater certainty. The agreement can include:

• Where the child will live and the time they will spend with each parent
• Day-to-day parenting responsibilities
• How holidays, special occasions and birthdays will be shared
• How major decisions will be made e.g. healthcare, education, religion