10 Steps to Take When Leaving a Relationship

It is important to consider how any children will be experiencing the separation and ensure that they do not witness any conflict.

You should not involve the children in any adult issues, and they should be informed of the separation gently, sensitively, and in a way they can understand.

Any confrontation or anger witnessed by children can cause emotional and psychological distress in the short and long term, so it is important that this is avoided.

The children may also be feeling scared, confused, or angry and will need lots of extra love, attention, and support.

You cannot be there fully for your children if you are not also looking after yourself, so make sure you are taking time to process the relationship breakdown and learn to deal with your emotions in a healthy way.

Our Family Solicitors appreciate that separation can be a highly traumatic, emotional, and stressful time.

It is important to take control of the situation and seek legal advice at the earliest opportunity.

In this blog, we set out the main considerations when starting the separation process and how you can begin the journey to separate individual lives.

Note that reference to marriage includes a reference to both a marriage and a civil partnership.

As well as the children, you must consider where you and your former partner will live.

It may be that you are comfortable with both remaining in the same house but living separate lives.

Alternatively, one of you may have to move out and live in temporary rented accommodation or even purchase a new property if able to.

Whilst working out how to divide and deal with financial assets during a divorce is a daunting prospect, it is an important consideration. It may help to begin by considering the following:

1. Make a list of all the bank accounts, properties, investments, insurance policies, pensions, significant belongings, and any liabilities that you hold, as well as those of your ex-partner.

Significant belongings include vehicles, expensive jewellery, paintings, collectables, furniture, etc.

Liabilities include mortgages, credit cards, store cards, secured loans, personal loans and any other liabilities.

Once the divorce process begins, it will be necessary to produce documentary evidence of your assets, income, and liabilities, so it would be a good idea to have these documents located and ready to disclose.

2. If there is a risk that your ex-partner may potentially withdraw significant funds, spend funds, or create a debt in a joint account, you can contact the bank to request that they freeze the account.

If the consent of the other account holder is required and you cannot obtain this, or if the money is held in an account in your former partner’s sole name, then you can apply to the court for a freezing injunction if you feel that there is a real risk that funds would otherwise be dissipated.

Please contact our solicitors at Myerson if you believe this action is required.

3. Work out your financial needs, e.g., monthly expenses such as rent/mortgage, council tax, utility bills, other household bills, food, clothing, school fees, social activities, motoring costs, etc.

4. Think about what financial outcome would work for you both.

For example, would you like to retain the matrimonial home, or do you need a home for you and any children? Is your income sufficient on its own, or will you require spousal maintenance?

If things between you and your former partner remain amicable, then you could consider sitting down and starting to discuss how you both intend to move things forward and deal with separating your financial ties.

You should consider both interim and long-term arrangements.

You will need to provide your marriage or civil partnership certificate.

If you do not have this, then you can obtain a copy online.

8. Review your will

You should also think about the longer-term consequences of the divorce or dissolution and consider updating (or making) a will to ensure that your assets do not pass to your former partner or that your former partner does not remain as the executor of your will.

By creating a new will, you can also ensure that your assets are passed to your children, and not to any new stepchildren of your former partner etc.

You should also ensure that you no longer own any assets jointly with your former partner, as otherwise, these assets will automatically pass to your ex upon your death (if this is not the intention).